My cousin Susan became lawfully wed to her steady beau Charles Gelm on October 21, 2000. It was a very nice wedding ceremony held at Ascension Church in Kettering, the Catholic church that the bulk of my family on the Murphy side either had once or currently attended. Although I was not directly involved with the wedding, many of my family members were - with Denise as one of the bridesmaids, and varous cousins acting as Maid of honor (Karen), groomsman (Chris), ring bearer (Zac), ushers (Dan and Ben), presenter of the Eucharist (Jacob), and reader (Brittney). My uncle Jim and aunt Darlene again performed an acoustic number. Charles’ youngest sister Carolyn gave an Old Testament reading from the Catholic book of Tobit. Many of the others involved in the ceremony would eventually become some of my in-laws.
The Tangemans and the Gelms already attended the same church together. And some members of each family both worked for Dorothy Lane Market (in fact, that is how Susan and Charles met). When both families became even more inextricabley linked as Susan and Charles began dating, it really wasn’t uncommon for Lisa and I and others from my family to meet up with any number of the Gelm family members during our various functions. It really was a small world.
The wedding party: Rosemarie, Brittney, Carolyn, Denise, Jennifer, Jeanette, Karen, Susan, Charles, Jim, Michael, Ben, Scott, Dan, Chris, Joe, Madi, and making lewd gestures with a pillow, Zachary
Charles feigns subservience in front of his male friends
The lovely ladies: Jennifer, Karen, Susan, Jeanette, Denise, and Madison
Denise and Susan
Zachary uncomfortably escorts Madison down the aisle
Charles’ brother Michael escorts Denise
Carolyn delivers a reading
As I say, I wasn’t participating in the wedding itself, but I have come to think of this wedding as a very pivotal event in my life, one that I refer to as ‘the changing of the guard.’ As mentioned in previous postings, Lisa and I were just an ant’s eyelash away from splitting up - and it was during this wedding that I decided that I was no longer going to try to salvage our marriage. Lisa did come to the wedding - in fact we came together in her jeep. During the lovely ceremony, Father Dave Brinkmoeller spoke about the sanctity of marriage and the prayer required to keep one going strong. Lisa sat next to me stone-faced, not hearing a single word.
The reception following the service was held at the IUE hall in Kettering, a very nice facility that was tastefully decorated with hundreds of balloons. Although there ended up being a tad too many rap records requested and spun near the end of the evening, my uncle Jim - as always - provided his top-notch service as the DJ. Charles’ older sister Jeanette had a new baby in attendance, the adorable Emma, and she was much sought out to be held - particularly by Denise’s new boyfriend Aaron.
Susan and proud papa Ed
Charles and Kathy, his Mom and my future mother-in-law
Grandpa and Grandma Murphy
Mom gets into the spirit of the proceedings
Aaron coos over Emma
Aaron and Denise: a young couple on their way
Cousins party table: Aaron, Lisa, me, Cathy, Debby, and Dan
Probably the last photo taken of me and Lisa for nearly seven years
I was hardly motivated to be ecstatic by the celebration of nutials by the time we arrived at the reception. Lisa had dropped the bomb on me that she would be leaving the reception early to go out clubbing with some friends. They would be picking her up and I would take her jeep home. We had a conversation outside over cigarettes and I warned her that this was the last straw; I wouldn’t be holding out any longer. Still she left.
Both the Murphy clan and the Gelm family were hearty partyers so as the evening went on and the beer flowed, the families started to get wild and dance on the tables, with Charles’ sisters acting as ringleaders and Ashleigh wholeheartedly participating. I was hanging out mostly with Chris, who was being mildly pursued by Charles’ cousin Jackie.
Ashleigh hops up on the table when Walk Like an Egyptian starts
Alex and Ashleigh merrily pop the balloons at the end of the night
Late in the evening, I noticed that Charles’ cute younger sister Carolyn, who had delivered the Tobit reading during the ceremony, was lagging behind helping to clean up, sweeping with a broom while wearing a brides’ veil. I’m not sure why, but I thought this to be exceptionally appealing. Carolyn and I were no strangers at this point. We had run into one another on a few occasions while barhopping and attending parties. Although she didn’t drink, she was always on hand to lend support to the band Dead Dogs, a band that Lisa also liked, and also wound up at the same after-softball game lunches of our co-ed softball team. So we did know one another, but not all that well.
Carolyn sweeps me off my feet
When it came time to leave, I invited her and her friends back to my house for a small wedding after-party. Chris and Jackie both came along as did Chris’ friend Chuck, who also had crush on Carolyn. It was a mild gathering to say the least. Those of us who drank alcohol had already had plenty and then there was Carolyn who didn’t drink at all. We ended up watching the movie Tommy Boy and an episode of Mad TV (”let’s have a pizza party, Mike”). I spent the first 15 minutes after we had arrived home in the bathroom. I had eaten a few too many of the greasy junk food at the wedding so embarassedly left my company downstairs alone for a bit.
Nothing else happened that night to speak of. We ran out of seats and I laid on the floor to watch the movie with Carolyn in the recliner behind me. At one point I told her that if she was cold, she could come cuddle with me on the floor, to which she responded “I don’t think your wife would care to come home and see that.”
No one but me knew it yet, but the changing of the guard had unofficially begun.
Hmmm, I think you should write a novel sometime, Brad. Interesting that you and Lisa both look *so* much happier in the reunion pictures from seven years later!
Randy Skretvedt
October 8th, 2007
Poor Zac, he will forever be known for lewd gestures.
Darlene
October 9th, 2007
It’s sad to think that you remember more detailed… details than I do. Though, I guess I had a completely different PoV and other strange details in my memory.
I never knew that a group of you went back to your place for a post-reception party. I would be upset that I wasn’t invited, but I suppose it’s OK this time.
and Darlene - I have no idea what lewd gesture you’re talking about.
Susan
October 18th, 2007