"Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes, Claude?" -Aunt Edna, "National Lampoon's Vacation"
I had a lot to look forward to going into the summer months of 1986. Eighth grade was over and it was time to have loads of fun. It was at this juncture in my life that I began what I sometimes think of as my ‘double-life.’ I was slimmed down, vastly interested in people […]
It is ironic that one of the worst child actors in the history of motion pictures - one Mickey Gubitosi - would grow up to be one of the most successful actors of all of the Our Gang kids. And notorious as well. My attempts at getting Robert Blake’s autograph through the mail began long […]
On May 20, 1986, as I stood there dressed to the nines in my white sportjacket and yellow slacks in preparation of attending the Ankeney Junior High School Banquet of Excellence, my Mom remarked to me that at that very moment, she was noticing how much weight I had lost. My transformation was complete. I had blossomed […]
No chronology of my life would be complete without a few representative examples from my short-lived and largely unfunny ‘publication’ entitled Trash. This was the successor to the hugely politically incorrect Funshiet, of which my friend Jeff Flinn and I created together in eighth grade. While I think most of his material was more creative, he […]
I met Heidi Maynard during my junior year of high school. She was already friends with Lance Patak and it was through him that I first got to know her. She had the distinction of being pretty, funny, and exceptionally sweet and good-natured. Although I don’t think we ever had a single class together, I […]